Hi there. It looks like I am running for your 2017 Prom Queen. Never having been a Prom Queen before, I feel like I should give you some three-point speech outlining my qualifications and platforms and how I’ll gracefully represent you as Queen. Well, unless in some tragic turn of events I can no longer fulfill my royal duties, in which case the runner-up will step in and assume full Prom Queen duties (but she won’t be as good as me, I assure you). I hate to disappoint but sadly, I have no inspirational three-point speech prepared today. But, here’s a little more about me. I am hoping that you will be completely transfixed by my shear awesomeness that you’ll forget all about my lacking campaign speech and frankly about all those other candidates. There’s only one Queen and she’s ready to take that crown (it’s me… I’m talking about me).
I’m Kate Goudschaal and I am a Libra. I truly like long walks on the beach but if I get caught in the rain, you better steer clear because I’ll be pissed. I like most people. Ok, that’s a lie. I like dogs more than people. I eat meat, I drink beer, I watch football but I also buy dresses, wear heels and get manicures. I will never understand paying to tan. There isn’t a cat video on the internet that I haven’t seen, more than once. The first time I shot a gun, I cried. I am afraid of skiing. I believe in Karma and ghosts and secretly wish my house were haunted. I like most all fruit, except kumquats because they make my lips swell and their name sounds funny. I love Halloween and the Fourth of July. Drinking coconut drinks makes me feel like I am drinking sun tan lotion. Artificial banana flavor is the devil. I watch far too much TV, but I don’t care… it’s worth it.
I don’t believe in love at first sight. I do believe in soul mates and I found mine. He’s a Detective with the Vancouver Police Department and the hunkiest guy I know. He’s got sort of a 21 Jump Street/Starsky and Hutch vibe going and it’s magical. He also took seven gunshots in 2014 and walked away… which pretty much makes him Superman. So at the very least, vote for me just to make his high school dream of marrying the Prom Queen come true. Otherwise, I’ll just go back to being the sassy, beer-drinking, band-nerd that he fell in love with all those years ago.